It Needed To Be Said
by Trekker
“Look, Blair, I’ll I’m saying is this Sid guy doesn’t have a leg to stand on here. I heard your first conversation with him, it was recorded, all incoming calls to the station are recorded. You said all the right things. There’s *evidence*.”
“Jim, just drop it.”
“My Dad’s got a good lawyer-”
”I don’t want his money, Jim.”
“It’s not the money! It’s the principle! He walked all over you, he violated every legal right you have- he’s totally at fault, here!”
“Well, fuck, Jim. So nice of you to realize that NOW, you piece of shit.”
“Blair? Blair, where the hell are you-”
“Out. Just leave me alone. That’s what you wanted, right? No more Sandburg. Well, ok, buddy, I’m gone.”
~~ Cascade Waterfront Park ~~
“Hey. Um. I thought you might want your jacket. It’s kind of chilly out.”
“...”
“Uh. Look, Blair, I’m really sorry. I was out of line there-”
“How the hell did you find out about that phone call anyway?”
“Oh. Well, I remembered you got a call that day, and I checked the phone records for any calls from New York.”
“Ah. Right. You do have your moments.”
“Well, that’s how I made Detective, you know.”
“Right...”
...
“Blair... I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Well... for what happened. You know. Everything.”
“What specifically are you sorry about?”
“...”
“Come on, you can do better than that.”
“I’m... sorry that your dissertation didn’t work out. I know how important it-”
“Jim, I don’t need any more bullshit right now, thanks. You hated my dissertation. Try again.”
“What is this, some sort of guessing game? What the hell do you want me to say, Chief? I’ll say it.”
“Jim, if I have to tell you, then I might as well just leave now, ok?”
...
“All right, fine. I’m sorry I was such a selfish asshole these past few days.”
“Not bad... you’re definitely getting warmer. Oh, and you left out childish, by the way.”
“What?”
“You’ve been a childish, selfish asshole the past three days. Come on, Jim, FIVE-year-olds don’t speak to each other. Most mature adults are past that stage by the time they reach your age.”
...
“Well, I guess I deserved that.”
“Keep going. You still haven’t got it, yet.”
“Got what, Chief?”
“What you should damn well be apologizing for.”
“Oh.”
“...”
“It’s the cop thing, isn’t it?”
“What?”
“I mean, I know we kind of sprung that on you. The detective badge, that is... you don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to... I mean, I want you to, I just don’t want-”
“Jim.”
“Yeah?”
“I want to be a cop, ok? I mean, the number one most annoying phrase I’ve heard these past four years is ‘You’re not a cop, Sandburg!’ God, did that ever get old.”
“Oh.”
“Jim... remember what you said, about a year ago, when you found out about Alex? You said you needed a partner you could trust. Well, guess what. I need a partner who trusts me.”
...
...
“Shit.”
“I mean, I know that this isn’t easy for you, ok? I know you’ve been hurt by... well, pretty much everyone you ever cared about. But you have to believe me, here. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“...”
“And it was NEVER about the dissertation. Never. Not since the day you came into my office. See, Jim, I’m a scientist. And there’s this common misconception about scientists out there in our culture that says that all scientists care about is their research. And sometimes, that’s true. But usually, a true scientist, he doesn’t give a shit about his research. He does research because he loves what he’s *researching*. Jim, look, I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t lose anything when I gave up my chance to publish, but you know what hurt the most? What hurt the most was telling the world that you didn’t exist... denouncing the fact that you are one damn special human being. You are still my holy grail, you will always be my holy grail, even if I never publish, even if I never write a paper again.”
“...”
“And you’re so much more than that, man.
“Hell, I’ve never stayed in one place this long before in my life. You know, it used to be my future was this blank slate, endless possibilities, you know? But now, now every time I think of my future, I can’t imagine a time without you in it-
“And that’s not a bad thing! I mean, I always liked the whole endless possibilities thing... but there’s something about-
“Well, look at it this way, it’s like, like breathing. Like, unconscious. I just assume you’ll be there. Actually, breathing isn’t even the best analogy, it’s more like your heart beating. You know, no one ever says ‘I beat my heart’ that would just sound dumb, you know? Because you don’t make your heart beat, it just does. I mean, you could hold your breath for awhile or something, but you can’t stop your heart. Well, I... I can’t stop...”
...
“Stop what?”
“Needing you. Being with you. Loving you.”
...
“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.”
“Yeah. You should be.”
“Nutcase.”
“Thanks.”
“Blair I... I... that is... ah, screw it.”
“Screw wha- umph”
...
“Whew. Way to express yourself nonverbally there, man. Got anything else to say?”
...
...
...
“Oh, yeah. Take me, you genetic throwback to a precivilized breed of man!”
The End
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