The world was reduced to a scrambled mix of sensory information. Roaring. Cold. Pain! Pain! Pain! Beaks and wings and water, cold water, all around him, pulling him down, invading his lungs, disgusting, dirty water, he scrambled to his feet, but then, bam!, he was down again, something heavy crashing down out of the sky and slamming him back under. He screamed, the sound lost in the sluggish wet coldness around him, and a beak, like a sword, slammed into his shoulder.
His flailed his arms, but he didnt know which way was up, he was drowning, everything was water, water, and then, another explosion of pain, pteradon claws digging into his shoulder, and suddenly he was hauled up, out of the water and he gasped for air even as he screamed in panic, its got me its got me, but he was too heavy and he fell again, and this time, there was a rock waiting in the river to meet him, and he felt only vaguely a sharp pain in his forehead and then there was blessed darkness.
Billy Brennen woke up soaked in sweat.
Something was holding him. He lashed out, the remnants of the dream-memory still clear in his mind, and scrambled away, falling off the air mattress and onto the ground in the process. It was only the sound of Alans voice that finally got through to him.
Billy, Billy, easy, its me.
He blinked, and realized the shadowy shape above him in the dark was, indeed, human and not dinosaur shaped. He let out his breath in a whooshing sigh, and all the energy left his limbs, and he collapsed bonelessly against the packed dirt that served as the floor of their tent.
He watched as Alan knelt beside him, touched his arm.
Billy could only nod. The ground, firm and motionless beneath him, was comforting, but the desert night was cold. It didnt take long for Billy to begin to shiver. Alan stood up and rustled around the tent for a moment, a match flared in the darkness, releasing the sharp scent of sulfur, and then the tent was filled with the soft blue glow of a camp stove. Billy watched as the silhouette of his lover, clad only in his boxers (the ones with little glowing dino-bones that Billy had bought for him), set the stove on the ground and started a teapot boiling.
After that was done, Alan stripped the cover off of their air matress and returned to Billys side, draping it over him and then gingerly lying down on his side next to him, propping himself up on his elbow.
Does it ever go away? Billy asked, staring up at the flickering light on the roof of the tent.
Alans hand slipped beneath the T-shirt Billy had worn to bed, and gently rubbed his stomach. Billy shut his eyes and absorbed the comfort of that tender human touch.
Itll get better, Billy. You just need time.
Alan leaned towards him, his hand moving around to Billys side, to pull him closer, and Billy tilted his head, inviting the kiss he knew was coming without even opening his eyes. Alans lips were dry but soft, pressing only lightly, chastely against Billys own as Alan moved even closer, resting just a tiny fraction of his weight against Billys side.
Hed been this way since the island, holding Billy as though constantly afraid he might simply shatter at too hard a touch. Billy had put up with it while he healed, but now, with his bones strong and his wounds faded to heroic battle scars, he wanted more. He wrapped his arm around Alan and cupped the back of his head in his hand, pulling him down, while at the same time opening his mouth and licking at Alans lips to encourage him to deepened the kiss. He felt momentary resistance in the older mans body, and then he found himself being kissed with the urgency of a starving man suddenly offered a gourmet feast.
Billy sighed with pleasure as Alan eased a little more of his weight onto him, hooking one leg around his thigh and letting his chest rest against Billys as they kissed. His tongue probed Billys mouth and it was welcomed eagerly. It felt so good, to be like this again, even if Alan was still a bit timid, even if yes, ok, Billys ribs did ache a little under pressure.
They just kissed for a while, long enough for steam to begin to rise from the teapot, just content to be near each other, to feel one anothers bodies slowly warming. That old urgency was there, pushing them, but for now, they could ignore it, could enjoy the simple things like warm skin, roving hands, and tender tongues. In the moments their lips were not locked together, Billy listened as Alan whispered how much he loved him, wanted him... things he couldnt find the courage to say anywhere except in the safety of darkness, but Billy knew he always felt.
Still holding his lover close with one arm, Billy reached down Alans body to cradle his hardening cock in his free hand. Alan whispered something against his lips, and Billy began to massage him slowly, feeling the heated flush of arousal rush over skin pressed close to his own, hearing the other man begin to breathe faster.
The whistle of the water boiling startled them both, Billy flinched and felt Alan flinch in his arms. They glanced at each other in the dim light, grinning, and then Alan pulled away from Billy with obvious reluctance, to turn off the stove. Billy rolled on his side, resting his weight on one arm and watching as Alan set the water aside.
Tea? Alan asked, his tone light and teasing.
Billy pretended to consider it, and then rolled into a sitting position, never breaking eye contact.
No, I think Id rather have you.
Moonlight began to seep through the tent walls now that the light from the stove was gone, and Billy could see Alans outline as the older man held out his hand.
On the bed, Billy. Im too old to do this on the ground.
Billy took his hand and allowed Alan to help him to his feet, but he protested, Youre not old.
They both settled down on their respective sides of the air mattress theyd been sharing for almost three years now. Cots just werent built for two people. Alan reached across the space between them and ran his hand down Billys face, tracing his cheek, his chin, and then on some unspoken signal, they both moved together in the center of the bed, tangling their arms and legs in a full-body embrace and kissing slowly, sensuously, taking their time to get reacquainted with this act which had once been so familiar.
Billy sat up slightly when he felt Alan tug on his T-shirt, let him pull the shirt off and toss it aside. The chilly night air hit his now-bare skin, but the cold was quickly banished by the heat of Alans body as he rolled them both over so that he was on top, his lips leaving rings of pleasant fire on Billys neck.
Billy had never expected to fall in love; Certainly not with a gorgeous, cranky man who was not only old enough to be his father, but who was, in fact, a year *older* than his father. Alan hadnt been expecting it either. Hed told Billy that he walked into his life at the exact moment Alan had given up all hope of ever finding someone again. But now that they were here... Billy was very glad he had been wrong. As Alans tongue traced the muscles in his chest, Billy said, softly, I wouldnt trade this for the world, Alan.
Alan paused in his ministrations and smiled up at Billy for a second or two.
Me neither, he said, and then he returned to the task at hand, which appeared to be driving Billy out of his mind. Billy shut his eyes and let the wet, velvety heat of Alans tongue become the center of his universe. He felt Alan meandering downward, felt Alans hands pull down his boxers and then cradle his balls, but it was still a shock when the mouth vanished from his stomach and suddenly reappeared on his cock. He gasped and tried to buck up into that heat, but Alan held him firmly against the soft sleeping bags.
Alan, Alan, God!
The mouth pulled away, and Billy groaned in disappointment. He groaned even louder when Alans teasing voice said, Oh, so Im a god now, am I?
Alan! he snarled, but before he could think of a suitable threat, that mouth was back around his cock, licking and sucking, and generally making rational thought completely impossible. Billy resigned himself to lying back on the bed and moaning.
Moaning gave way to whimpering as Alan twirled one lube-coated finger around his anus and then gently poked it inside. Whimpering gave way to begging as the finger began to oh-so-slowly move in and out, stretching his muscles and torturing his prostate. And all the while, that talented mouth continued to work at his cock... The last vestiges of control left him, and he fought against Alans hold, trying desperately to thrust, backwards or forwards, didnt matter, he just had to DO SOMETHING!
Alan, god, please, yes, Im gonna...
Alan backed off suddenly, his finger still moving inside of Billy, but otherwise not touching him. Then, after a moment, he laid his hand on Billys thigh.
Shh, calm down, were getting there.
Billy just moaned his name as Alan added a second finger. Alan continued to hold him with one restraining hand, and Billy continued to beg, a quiet, whispered litany, until finally, Alan backed away again, and then, after a moment of agonizing aloneness, Billy felt his lovers hands gently coaxing him to turn onto his side. Alan spooned up behind him, his warm, callused hands stroking Billys skin. His cock, slick with lubricant, was pressed against Billys ass.
You ok, love? he whispered into Billys hair, and Billy nodded. He could feel Alans heartbeat fluttering against his back. All right, then.
Alan dropped a quick kiss on Billys shoulder and then he was inside. It was all Billy could do to keep breathing as his love slid inside of him for the first time in months. There was no pain, just the indescribable intimacy of being filled... of being joined, as close together as two people can be.
Billy, oh, Billy, Alan whispered, his arms tightening spasmodically around Billys chest. Billy turned his head as far back as he could, and Alans lips found his, and they kissed as Alan began moving, slowly at first, then picking up speed.
Alan broke the kiss first, with a strangled cry. Billy shut his eyes and tried not to scream as the pleasure intensified, as it built, every thrust pushing him closer, hitting that spot inside of him and adding sparks to the fire that was raging in his heart.
He suddenly found his voice, and nearly shouted Alans name, but managed to bite it back in time, to keep his voice low. He felt Alans face buried in the crook of his neck, felt his thrusts speed up even more, felt his breath, hot and damp, in fast bursts against his neck. And then, Alans slick hand grasped his cock, pumped it twice hard, and he was lost, gone, drifting on the wave of an unbelievable orgasm. Dimly, he felt his lover follow him over the edge, filling him with his seed and biting down on his shoulder just to keep from screaming.
They came down gently, like a colorful parasail settling back to Earth. Alan stayed close against Billys back, his hands soothing as the aftershocks echoed through both of their bodies.
I know, I know. Im amazing, his tone was joking, but his voice still quivered with the emotion of what they had just shared.
He turned over and cuddled into Alans embrace, his whole being rejoicing at the love he saw shining in those adored blue eyes.
Modest, too, Alan said with a smile.
Yeah, Billy said, and leaned in for a quick kiss, before stretching and rolling off the air mattress. We need to get back in the sleeping bags or my extremities will freeze.
Alan got up, chuckling.
Cant have that, can we? he said as they both crawled under the covers and squirmed around until they were back in each others arms, skin to skin, heart to heart. Good night, Billy, he whispered, then kissed Billy on the forehead and shut his eyes.
Billy lay awake, watching Alan sleep, and eventually, without even noticing really, he drifted off as well. The nightmares didnt come back.